Franken or Simkin?

Some of the listed below samples of political satire were taken from Al Franken's books. The other were invented by Mikhail Simkin, the author of this quiz. Can you tell which is which?

After reading each quote choose the author. Hit the Submit button when done. The quiz will be graded and you will see the correct answers.

Similar to Osama bin Laden, who depends for his metabolism on a dialysis machine, George W. Bush depends on Karl Rove for his thinking.

1. Franken Simkin

Can you imagine if Bush had tried to get us to go to war by citing a handful of fruitless meetings? Donald Rumsfeld had more meetings with Saddam Hussein than Osama bin Laden had.

2. Franken Simkin

It's a cliche to say that the Bush administration's use of language is Orwellian. After all, the "Healthy Forest Initiative" won't make forests healthy. Much to the contrary. It will make them gone. And the pro-air pollution Clear Skies Initiative is designed to clear the skies of birds.

3. Franken Simkin

Bush was lying throughout the 2000 campaign. And unlike Gore's lies about Love Canal, Love Story, and the Internet, Bush's lies weren't even true.

4. Franken Simkin

According to "The Bell Curve" by Hernstein and Murray, fifteen percent of white folks are less intelligent than an average black person. This is the group from which Ann Coulter recruits her readers.

5. Franken Simkin

People sometimes say that the argument that one can't pass judgements on military men, if one didn't himself serve in the military, is akin to the argument that one can never critique a movie, if he had never been an actor. What if one was five times drafted by Hollywood and got five deferrals?

6. Franken Simkin

After another fabulous show, Hannity may be headed home, but Alan Colmes's day is just beginning. There're floors to be mopped, plants to be watered, light bulbs to be replaced, and coffee to be ground for the morning. It's lonely being the only liberal at Fox, but Alan doesn't mind. There is so much satisfaction to be had, not just from occasionally getting a word in edgewise on his own show, but from hearing Roger Ailes's chuckle when he sees the little paper strip reading "Hannitized for Your Protection" that the former comedian carefully placed across the seat of the toilet in his private bathroom.

7. Franken Simkin

Hannity spits out: "They tell us that fuel-burning SUVs are bad for America, but flag-burning SOBs aren't." Well, Sean, fuel-burning SUVs burn fuel. And there are about fifty million of them. They contribute to global warming and our dependence on oil from countries like Saudi Arabia, which fund the very terrorism you profess to be so upset about. Flag-burning, on the other hand, is relatively rare. And what's more, Saudi Arabia does not produce American flags. Most American flags are made in Taiwan, a staunch ally.

8. Franken Simkin

Bush's campaign ad "John Kerry: whatever way the wind blows," which showed Kerry windsurfing, had demonstrated that its authors were completely ignorant of the sport of sailing. The wind blew the same way, while John Kerry twice went crosswind in opposite directions.

9. Franken Simkin

Jerry Falwell's statement that, if Christ was a male Jew, then the Antichrist should also be a male Jew, refelects his inability to think logically. If Christ was a male Jew, then the Antichrist must be a female Antisemite.

10. Franken Simkin