Dr. Savage or Dr. Simkin?

Some of the jokes below were taken from Michael Savage's books. The other were invented by Mikhail Simkin, the author of this quiz. Can you tell which is which?

After reading each quote choose the author. Hit the Submit button when done. The quiz will be graded and you will see the correct answers.

As you drive away from San Francisco on route 101, the stench of liberalism gradually becomes thinner, but only to be replaced with foul chemical odor.

1. Dr. Savage Dr. Simkin

I beleive that America is well on her way from being the melting pot to becoming the chamber pot.

2. Dr. Savage Dr. Simkin

We've all been warned about the dangers of a theocracy, where religious zealots rule. Today in America, we have a "she-ocracy" where a minority of feminist zealots rule the culture.
     At the top of this hierarchy is Hillary Clinton, followed by others, such as Ruth Bader Ginsberg and Sandra Day O'Connor on the U.S. Supreme Court; Barbara Boxer, the radical abortion supporter from California; Dianne Feinstein, the radical senator from California whose husband, Richard Blum, does big business with China.
     Together, they have both feminized and homosexualized much of America to the point where the nation has become passive, receptive, and masochistic.

3. Dr. Savage Dr. Simkin

I predict the day is coming when the Reverend Jesse Hijackson or some such subversive minority group will insist it's time to change the White House to the Multi-Culty House.
     I can already imagine what their childish, whiney protest would sound like. They'd argue the White House symbolizes the power of white mates. I can picture the Reverend Hijackson standing on Pennsylvania Avenue with the White House in the background. He'd say, "It's time to end it. Not mend it." He'd suggest the White House should be painted black or brown and renamed the Black House or the Brown House. Don't we sheeple know it's racist to have to call it the White House?

4. Dr. Savage Dr. Simkin

Liberals, cowards, and homosexuals had been never good fighting the enemies of the USA in combat, but they always excell fighting bigotry.

5. Dr. Savage Dr. Simkin

To any person of democratic convictions it is obvious that cowardice is only despised due to bigotry of the wretched white males. Therefore the society must compensate the cowards for this historic injustice by instituting the National Day of Cowardice (or, perhaps, the Day of National Cowardice, which will abbreviate conviniently as DNC).

6. Dr. Savage Dr. Simkin

Every time I see a sign proclaiming an area a "Hate-Free Zone," I get hateful. I want to strangle somebody. Who are they to tell me it's a Hate-Free Zone? What if I want to hate? It's my constitutional right to hate you if you're a lowlife.

7. Dr. Savage Dr. Simkin

Diversity is perversity.

8. Dr. Savage Dr. Simkin

Cornelius a Lapide wrote that the lice born of human sweat were not created by God with the other animals on the sixth day.
     Just like bodily sweat breeds bodily lice, spiritual sweat creates spiritual lice, and spiritual sweat can be only washed with a prayer. Unwashed souls of unpraying atheists are full of spiritual lice. Just like bodily lice spread from body to body, spiritual lice of atheism spread from soul to soul.

9. Dr. Savage Dr. Simkin

In the past God could singlehandedly stop the Sun. Today his status is reduced to that of the British Queen.
     Formally, the British prime minister has to seek approval of his decisions from the Queen. Similarly, scientists have to seek approval of their theories from God. But the Queen has to approve. And God has to approve. Under such implicit agreement the Queen is allowed to keep her castles and God his churches.

10. Dr. Savage Dr. Simkin

America is becoming the land of the freaks and home of the slaves.

11. Dr. Savage Dr. Simkin

In his book "Guns, Germs, and Steel" Jared Diamond proves us that marsupial people are smarter than Europeans. You see: for the past two thousand years the Europeans died mostly of deseases and survival did not depend on intelligence. In contrast, the aboriginals had to hunt to survive and those who were not smart enough died of hunger. One can use the same argument to prove that wolves are smarter then men.

12. Dr. Savage Dr. Simkin